I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
