Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
