They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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