my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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