I puked a lego.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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