She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
