Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
