white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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