I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
