Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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