only if we run a train.
done.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
