I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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