How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
