new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize