walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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