That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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