I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
