I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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