I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
