You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
