I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
