My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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