Porn is love you can see.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
