I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
