No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
