We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
