Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
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