We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
