Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
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