Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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