dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
