just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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