I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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