Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
