We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
