Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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