You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
