when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
