Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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