watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
