Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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