her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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