I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
