Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
