just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We just shotgunned beers for America
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
