that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
