The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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