Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
