why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
