You smell like stripper and shame
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize