He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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