Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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