my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
