I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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