Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
