I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
