HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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