Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
