that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Even my vagina gasped.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Randomize
