Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
